January 29, 2012 Blog
So today is Sunday. Yesterday I sent my cooperating teacher 8 lessons I spent 11 hours working on. She replied to one of them which referenced Fagbug and replied,
"You don't have my permission to show the movie, therefore you need to come up with a new lesson to replace the car one."
I didn't reply. The next morning I deleted her as a friend on my facebook and wrote a post on my facebook fagbug page saying, Fagbug is banned from being shown in an 8th grade class I'm student teaching in."
3 hours later I was called my by supervisor informing me that my cooperating teacher was firing me and not to come in on Monday because she doesn't want to deal with any controversy.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Day 9: Omar's Art & Lesson Rejected
Friday January 27th and Saturday January 28th Blog
Omar came in early before class started and showed me his collage. He had about ten images on it and a big smile on his face. I told him it was beautiful. All the images had such a peacefulness and beauty and emotion. He said, "It's good Mrs?" I told him it was very good and that I loved it. I showed it to his class when they got there. Most of the students in his class were almost done with their collage they were making for one another. Omar's is especially good. Even my cooperating teacher was impressed and asked me if he did that on his own. There is a girl in class that can translate things to him if he doesn't understand what I'm saying. I randomly had them pick each other's names and he got tied to her in this project so that worked out well. For the new boy in the class I matched him up with someone that was already done and had the handouts ready for him before he got to class. Again he got mostly caught up with everyone.
The 8th grade class, one of the boys named Muhammad called someone else in the class a faggot (35) fairly loud. The cooperating teacher and I both her it and she went over to ask what happened. He said he called him that because he called him a bitch. It wasn't addressed like don't put people down using that language or anything about gay, it was more just like don't say bitch or faggot or don't say something back to him if he says anything. A spanish speaking kid was somehow involved but the teacher had to communicate to him in Spanish and I didn't really get what was being said.
So far 35 homophobic comments in 9 days made in my placement so far.
Saturday's Blog
I wanted to get ahead on my lessons this weekend now that I have a sense of what the rest of my placement is going to look like so I spent 11 hours today writing lessons from 8:30 AM to 7:30 PM. I wrote 3 kindergarten lessons and 5 8th grade lessons and planned on writing about 10 more until I got an email back from my cooperating teacher.
I sent her the lessons, all 8 of them. One was to create a car design from matchbox toy cars and give the car a new paint job of your designing. I was going to show a short clip from fagbug and show how i designed the vinyl wrap and how I have my own toy car that got produced.
My cooperating teacher replied to my email of sending 8 lessons - letting her know I liked one for kindergarten in particular and asking a question about one of them regarding money or a comment of the odds of being able to afford the materials, and all I got back was:
Omar came in early before class started and showed me his collage. He had about ten images on it and a big smile on his face. I told him it was beautiful. All the images had such a peacefulness and beauty and emotion. He said, "It's good Mrs?" I told him it was very good and that I loved it. I showed it to his class when they got there. Most of the students in his class were almost done with their collage they were making for one another. Omar's is especially good. Even my cooperating teacher was impressed and asked me if he did that on his own. There is a girl in class that can translate things to him if he doesn't understand what I'm saying. I randomly had them pick each other's names and he got tied to her in this project so that worked out well. For the new boy in the class I matched him up with someone that was already done and had the handouts ready for him before he got to class. Again he got mostly caught up with everyone.
The 8th grade class, one of the boys named Muhammad called someone else in the class a faggot (35) fairly loud. The cooperating teacher and I both her it and she went over to ask what happened. He said he called him that because he called him a bitch. It wasn't addressed like don't put people down using that language or anything about gay, it was more just like don't say bitch or faggot or don't say something back to him if he says anything. A spanish speaking kid was somehow involved but the teacher had to communicate to him in Spanish and I didn't really get what was being said.
So far 35 homophobic comments in 9 days made in my placement so far.
Saturday's Blog
I wanted to get ahead on my lessons this weekend now that I have a sense of what the rest of my placement is going to look like so I spent 11 hours today writing lessons from 8:30 AM to 7:30 PM. I wrote 3 kindergarten lessons and 5 8th grade lessons and planned on writing about 10 more until I got an email back from my cooperating teacher.
I sent her the lessons, all 8 of them. One was to create a car design from matchbox toy cars and give the car a new paint job of your designing. I was going to show a short clip from fagbug and show how i designed the vinyl wrap and how I have my own toy car that got produced.
My cooperating teacher replied to my email of sending 8 lessons - letting her know I liked one for kindergarten in particular and asking a question about one of them regarding money or a comment of the odds of being able to afford the materials, and all I got back was:
----You don't have my permission to show the movie, therefore you need to come up with a new lesson to replace the car one.----
Pretty much the coldest, rudest response possible considering. I feel like this environment is forcing me to be in the closet, to hide that I'm gay, to not allow the students to have access to my knowledge and experience.
I took a break for a few hours because this situation is really starting to upset me. Gay teachers being forced to be in the closet, and the pressure to do so, the fear that administrators have is what enforces people both adults and students to remain homophobic and in turn hate crimes happen and people spend years hating themselves for feeling invisible and like it is so wrong to be gay. The education system is holding onto that idea and reinforcing it on a daily basis. I feel like I'm in jail hearing all these kids say anti gay remarks but not being allowed to be in a position to tell them I'm gay, which in turn makes them obviously have some understanding and accountability and a real life encounter to challenge whatever stereotypes they've heard or learned.
I am not going to closet myself or not do what I deem appropriate. If a student says they hate gay people or calls someone a faggot I have no problem telling them I am gay and am not going to tolerate that type of language in the classroom.
I was under the understanding that my cooperating teacher and I had an agreement on this but based on her email today, I really don't want to be there anymore. I don't want to be her friend or share anything about myself with her anymore.
The lesson had .1 % about my car and it could've been easily taken out, but she didn't even want me to do that, she wanted me to just replace it entirely with something else, which I am not going to do. I took the part about the movie out and if the conversation comes up about it again I will just say it's out and there is nothing wrong with the lesson. I think because she knows some students know about my car and she knows the vice principal isn't a fan she just wants to prevent me from doing anything that allows the students to bring it up.
I feel I am being discriminated against. When my wife Sonya and I got married we got married in Vermont because before NYS passed the law to get married here we asked if we could get married at Boldt Castle and the person who was in charge of booking the weddings told us only one other gay couple ever tried and they denied it and they'd deny us too and said we could write a proposal for him to take to the board but that they'd deny it. I asked if straight couples had to put in a proposal to get married there? Obviously they don't.
People obviously don't know who they are messing with when they do things like this. Anyway we sent a letter and a proposal and like four months later it got approved. I tour all around the country and have a huge audience that I share this type of thing with and have a million things backing me up so that I don't feel in the wrong and have no problem exposing people for what they are doing wrong.
Saying I have to get permission from the principal to be out as gay at my job is ridiculous. It's like saying I have to write a special proposal to get married at a venue that no one else has to do that to get in. It's like asking a married woman, who's married to a man, to talk to the principal about it to see if she can inform her students she's married to a man. If you reverse the situation you realize how absurd it is. It is discrimination.
I am sick of this placement and incredibly uncomfortable and feel I am being treated unfairly. Again if any other educator or teacher happened to be a filmmaker, like the guy from Super Size Me. I'm sure if he was teaching kids, he'd do a lesson on his own film and teach students what he specializes in. That would be welcome for his students to know he's a famous filmmaker. For that not to be welcome at this school is absolutely absurd. I've spoke at 138 schools around the country. It's funny that the one I'm in absolutely refuses to let me speak on it. As if there is something wrong with it. I've done so many good things and have so many good things to share and enlighten the kids about. It is ridiculous.
Also all of my lessons thus far my cooperating teacher has written only negative things or things to change, nothing positive on any of them. It's really not the approach I would take being overly critical of every single thing. I am a different person and may do some things differently and that isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Also all of my lessons thus far my cooperating teacher has written only negative things or things to change, nothing positive on any of them. It's really not the approach I would take being overly critical of every single thing. I am a different person and may do some things differently and that isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Day 8: Anticipating Omar
Thursday January 26, 2012 Blog
Nothing yet from Omar. I told him I'd give him glue if he needed to and he said, "I've got it Mrs." He told me that his cousin next door has some. He's been leaving his backpack in the room with me before he goes to lunch. The flag art the students are creating has come out quite beautiful. They are almost done. Students have had a hands on way of learning about one another's countries. There is a new boy in class and I got him caught up to where all the other students were just about. It was nice to see Tommy put all his talking to good use by taking him under his wing explaining what we were doing and letting him know the drill for the school and where to go throughout the day.
In the 8th grade class a few students arrived early one asked me if the rainbow car was mine. I said yes. She told me she loved it. Another student asked me if I just got married. I said oh did you see the just married writing on the back window. He said yes. I told him yes i did a few months ago but just haven't had the time to take that off the window. He said I don't mean to be rude but did you marry a woman or a man. I told him a woman. The girl who first asked me about it told me she supports me all the way and said congratulations. i said thank you. one of the boys who has been saying anti gay comments all along said ewe everyone picks on that car. that's your car? i said yes. he said no one likes it. i said plenty of people like it and i like it. there's a whole story behind it and i made a movie about it. i am going to show you some of it. he said no i didn't because if i made a movie he would've seen it. i told him its on netflix.
Nothing yet from Omar. I told him I'd give him glue if he needed to and he said, "I've got it Mrs." He told me that his cousin next door has some. He's been leaving his backpack in the room with me before he goes to lunch. The flag art the students are creating has come out quite beautiful. They are almost done. Students have had a hands on way of learning about one another's countries. There is a new boy in class and I got him caught up to where all the other students were just about. It was nice to see Tommy put all his talking to good use by taking him under his wing explaining what we were doing and letting him know the drill for the school and where to go throughout the day.
In the 8th grade class a few students arrived early one asked me if the rainbow car was mine. I said yes. She told me she loved it. Another student asked me if I just got married. I said oh did you see the just married writing on the back window. He said yes. I told him yes i did a few months ago but just haven't had the time to take that off the window. He said I don't mean to be rude but did you marry a woman or a man. I told him a woman. The girl who first asked me about it told me she supports me all the way and said congratulations. i said thank you. one of the boys who has been saying anti gay comments all along said ewe everyone picks on that car. that's your car? i said yes. he said no one likes it. i said plenty of people like it and i like it. there's a whole story behind it and i made a movie about it. i am going to show you some of it. he said no i didn't because if i made a movie he would've seen it. i told him its on netflix.
Day 7: Comments Keep Flying
January 25, 2012 Blog
34 and counting
Today my cooperating teacher had a substitute since she was in meetings for most of the day. I did my flag lesson with the 7th grade students and its going well. Omar asked to take a magazine and piece of paper home and said that he was going to do something with it. He came back later and asked if he could take a thing of glue home and the teacher was back then and said he couldn't. Omar and I can't communicate 100% but we can enough to somewhat understand what each other is saying. I knew he wanted to make some type of collage at home and said he was going to bring it in to show me. I was very excited to see what he was going to create. It's like art is allowing us to say the things we can't with language. It's a beautiful thing.
In the 4th grade class that last week one boy told me two of his classmates called him gay, now this class he was the one on the other end of it. First it started with four boys at a table spinning glue around in circles. I separated them and took two of the boys to another table. One of the boys called the other boy gay (28) and then said he was grabbing his but (29) and then one of them called another a fruit loop (30) and then they continued to call each other gay two more times (32). I took both of them into the hallway and told them it was inappropriate to say that to one another and they said its disgusting to be gay (33). I told them I was gay and said that I wasn't going to tolerate hearing those types of remarks in the classroom. They said ewe that's gross. (34-35) One boy asked me to prove it. I showed him my ring on my finger and said I was married to a woman. One boy said two girls kissing is gross. (36). They continued to snicker. I told them it doesn't matter if they are gay. One boy said ewe that's disgusting. (36) Being gay is gross. (37) Once I went back into the class I moved the two boys away from each other and another boy near the first boy who got moved for beginning with calling the other student gay who was called gay last week had another person complain that he didn't feel comfortable being around him because he was "gay."(38) The boys snickered and I could tell they were telling other people I was gay. I really don't care and feel it is fine for them to know people in the world are. It's a fact of life.
The teacher had a talk with the 8th graders about all the language they've been using and what's appropriate. I have seminar Wednesday nights and Skype in on them and raised it as a concern and one of my classmates said she doesn't think it's appropriate for elementary aged kids to know I'm gay. That as a parent she'd want to know ahead of time if her child was going to be hearing about a sensitive topics and that I should have to get her permission to do so. It really left me with a bad feeling. I am not going to take a job where I have to ask permission to be out of the closet from my coworkers or boss. Does a straight woman have to make a special request to ask permission to be out about being straight no. I am gay, big deal. The fact that there has been all this behavior from others acting like it is such a bad thing is really starting to piss me off.
My niece is 9 and was in our wedding and loves my wife. I have twin nephews who are 3 who know my wife and ask where Sonya is if she's not around. My niece Chelsea has always known I'm gay and we have a very close relationship. Because of knowing me all my nieces and nephews wouldn't stand for anyone being anti-gay and are very open minded and have a positive view of gay people through me. The fact that faggot is said everyday in the school and my project Fagbug isn't allowed in this school to be used as an educational tool it makes me feel that the school wants to just allow people to hate gay people. If they want to make sure they don't know I'm gay obviously they are fine with the climate and feel there is something wrong with me versus the homophobia and are agreeing with it.
34 and counting
Today my cooperating teacher had a substitute since she was in meetings for most of the day. I did my flag lesson with the 7th grade students and its going well. Omar asked to take a magazine and piece of paper home and said that he was going to do something with it. He came back later and asked if he could take a thing of glue home and the teacher was back then and said he couldn't. Omar and I can't communicate 100% but we can enough to somewhat understand what each other is saying. I knew he wanted to make some type of collage at home and said he was going to bring it in to show me. I was very excited to see what he was going to create. It's like art is allowing us to say the things we can't with language. It's a beautiful thing.
In the 4th grade class that last week one boy told me two of his classmates called him gay, now this class he was the one on the other end of it. First it started with four boys at a table spinning glue around in circles. I separated them and took two of the boys to another table. One of the boys called the other boy gay (28) and then said he was grabbing his but (29) and then one of them called another a fruit loop (30) and then they continued to call each other gay two more times (32). I took both of them into the hallway and told them it was inappropriate to say that to one another and they said its disgusting to be gay (33). I told them I was gay and said that I wasn't going to tolerate hearing those types of remarks in the classroom. They said ewe that's gross. (34-35) One boy asked me to prove it. I showed him my ring on my finger and said I was married to a woman. One boy said two girls kissing is gross. (36). They continued to snicker. I told them it doesn't matter if they are gay. One boy said ewe that's disgusting. (36) Being gay is gross. (37) Once I went back into the class I moved the two boys away from each other and another boy near the first boy who got moved for beginning with calling the other student gay who was called gay last week had another person complain that he didn't feel comfortable being around him because he was "gay."(38) The boys snickered and I could tell they were telling other people I was gay. I really don't care and feel it is fine for them to know people in the world are. It's a fact of life.
The teacher had a talk with the 8th graders about all the language they've been using and what's appropriate. I have seminar Wednesday nights and Skype in on them and raised it as a concern and one of my classmates said she doesn't think it's appropriate for elementary aged kids to know I'm gay. That as a parent she'd want to know ahead of time if her child was going to be hearing about a sensitive topics and that I should have to get her permission to do so. It really left me with a bad feeling. I am not going to take a job where I have to ask permission to be out of the closet from my coworkers or boss. Does a straight woman have to make a special request to ask permission to be out about being straight no. I am gay, big deal. The fact that there has been all this behavior from others acting like it is such a bad thing is really starting to piss me off.
My niece is 9 and was in our wedding and loves my wife. I have twin nephews who are 3 who know my wife and ask where Sonya is if she's not around. My niece Chelsea has always known I'm gay and we have a very close relationship. Because of knowing me all my nieces and nephews wouldn't stand for anyone being anti-gay and are very open minded and have a positive view of gay people through me. The fact that faggot is said everyday in the school and my project Fagbug isn't allowed in this school to be used as an educational tool it makes me feel that the school wants to just allow people to hate gay people. If they want to make sure they don't know I'm gay obviously they are fine with the climate and feel there is something wrong with me versus the homophobia and are agreeing with it.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Day 6: 21 comments in a week
January 24, 2012
My cooperating teacher was sick today but came in for two hours in the morning to meet with me. We went over her plans for me for the day. I shared my lesson with her regarding the flag lesson and she was able to observe me. I made a breakthrough with Omar today that was the highlight of my day. He knows several words in English but doesn't know how to write very well. In my lesson I had them match the various countries with their corresponding flags. Once they were matched they had to draw them and write the countries and colors of the flags down. Omar was struggling with the writing part so at first I helped him spell out the letters, but then I took out a piece of paper and colored a line with green and wrote the word green next to it along with all the other colors they were using. I asked him if he understood and he said, "I got it Mrs." I tried to help further and he said he had it and smiled. At the end of the day I stayed late to get my binder organized and Omar walked by the room and waved to me. I came out in the hallway and asked if he was heading home and told him to have a nice night. He said, "You too Mrs." I really love this kid.
My cooperating teacher gave me some feedback from the lesson and said it was a good lesson but that I need to get their attention more and have them look at me when I present. This class is good so it's not really an issue but she just said for other classes that aren't so good I need to be more in charge. Also I cut out a lot of shapes for my kindergarten lesson which took hours but my cooperating teacher didn't want me to use them and wanted the kids to cut the stencils even though they didn't seem to understand that so that was somewhat disappointing. It feels like all my lessons so far are being criticized much more than encouraged but I guess I am learning and will just take it all with a grain of salt.
I observed most of the other classes today and was amazed by the 6th grade class. The sub and I tried to get them to be quiet. There are over 30 of them and they always have to do book work. They were walking outside and refusing to go in the room or do anything, then a TA came into the room and demanded their attention and stayed the rest of the class and they shut up as soon as she spoke. It was nice to see someone get their respect like that. I was amazed.
The 8th grade class last period had an assignment today that half of them refused to do. The same troublemaking kids were saying words like: fuck, retarded, and of course they couldn't go a day without talking about homosexuality. My wife told me with the one kid I should make a big deal about how he feels the need to talk about it all the time and that I should say since he's so interested in the topic maybe I should get the attention of the class so he can talk to them and share the topic that he's so interested in. I kind of tried that today but so far whatever I've tried hasn't really been working with him in particular. He's just resistant to everything. Any type of art that isn't drawing that he likes, anything that is different. Oh the whole conversation started because he said nigga. I told him not to say that in class and he debated with me whether he said nigger or nigga as if there is a difference and tried to get his friends to back that saying nigga in school is appropriate.
When I was talking to him about the drawing he said he wasn't going to do it and that he didn't like to draw anything other than regular drawing and this wasn't regular drawing and kept saying he couldn't do it. He said he likes to just sit at home and be on the computer. The boy next to him said yeah and talk to your boyfriend. This comment was said three times. I said so what if he's gay there's nothing wrong with it. He got up and was like I'm not gay ewe. (14) So that is the forth comment of the day. Then the boys went back and forth and one called the other a fruit cup three times (17). Then one said you are beyond gay (18). Then the other said he turns himself into a girl sometimes (19). Then he said back you're gay for even thinking that (20). Then the boy said twice I'm not gay (21-22). Then I don't like that stuff (23). Then one boy said I don't like that stuff (24). I don't like queers (25).
After hearing these comments so much I eventually just told them I'm gay. The one boy said that's okay because you're a girl. If you were a dude that would be a totally different story(26) Then he looked at me and said are you a man? (27) I said no, I'm a woman. I started writing notes down of everything they said and once I started writing things down the one boy who I genuinely do like asked if he could have his name taken off the paper. He asked if it was on it. I didn't give him an answer. I got the classes attention and said something about all the remarks I've been hearing in the class. I told them that I'm going to discuss it more a little later but asked if we needed to then. I told the group of boys who are always a problem that I made a movie about the topic and how men get murdered all the time for being gay. The boys sitting next to that table were impressed. They said you made a movie? I told them it was on netflix. One of them asked if they could see it tomorrow and were excited about it. I think 90% of the class would get something really positive from it if I did discuss fagbug in the class. The one boy said he wouldn't watch it. He also says he won't do a lot of things that are basic things the class asks of him. Then at some point somehow it came up one of the students asked if I was married to a man and I said no I'm married to a woman. I think the boys that heard that were shocked and interested at the same time. The other two boys I took into the hall and tried to talk to them privately. I told them that the language they were using was hurtful, but they really didn't seem to get it. Perhaps if I present fagbug to them I might get their attention in a different way. It's really the only class I see it as a problem where they clearly need some educating on the subject. Perhaps I can present on the topic but also think of a lesson that can go along with the presentation so it can be more than a one day lesson.
My cooperating teacher was sick today but came in for two hours in the morning to meet with me. We went over her plans for me for the day. I shared my lesson with her regarding the flag lesson and she was able to observe me. I made a breakthrough with Omar today that was the highlight of my day. He knows several words in English but doesn't know how to write very well. In my lesson I had them match the various countries with their corresponding flags. Once they were matched they had to draw them and write the countries and colors of the flags down. Omar was struggling with the writing part so at first I helped him spell out the letters, but then I took out a piece of paper and colored a line with green and wrote the word green next to it along with all the other colors they were using. I asked him if he understood and he said, "I got it Mrs." I tried to help further and he said he had it and smiled. At the end of the day I stayed late to get my binder organized and Omar walked by the room and waved to me. I came out in the hallway and asked if he was heading home and told him to have a nice night. He said, "You too Mrs." I really love this kid.
My cooperating teacher gave me some feedback from the lesson and said it was a good lesson but that I need to get their attention more and have them look at me when I present. This class is good so it's not really an issue but she just said for other classes that aren't so good I need to be more in charge. Also I cut out a lot of shapes for my kindergarten lesson which took hours but my cooperating teacher didn't want me to use them and wanted the kids to cut the stencils even though they didn't seem to understand that so that was somewhat disappointing. It feels like all my lessons so far are being criticized much more than encouraged but I guess I am learning and will just take it all with a grain of salt.
I observed most of the other classes today and was amazed by the 6th grade class. The sub and I tried to get them to be quiet. There are over 30 of them and they always have to do book work. They were walking outside and refusing to go in the room or do anything, then a TA came into the room and demanded their attention and stayed the rest of the class and they shut up as soon as she spoke. It was nice to see someone get their respect like that. I was amazed.
The 8th grade class last period had an assignment today that half of them refused to do. The same troublemaking kids were saying words like: fuck, retarded, and of course they couldn't go a day without talking about homosexuality. My wife told me with the one kid I should make a big deal about how he feels the need to talk about it all the time and that I should say since he's so interested in the topic maybe I should get the attention of the class so he can talk to them and share the topic that he's so interested in. I kind of tried that today but so far whatever I've tried hasn't really been working with him in particular. He's just resistant to everything. Any type of art that isn't drawing that he likes, anything that is different. Oh the whole conversation started because he said nigga. I told him not to say that in class and he debated with me whether he said nigger or nigga as if there is a difference and tried to get his friends to back that saying nigga in school is appropriate.
When I was talking to him about the drawing he said he wasn't going to do it and that he didn't like to draw anything other than regular drawing and this wasn't regular drawing and kept saying he couldn't do it. He said he likes to just sit at home and be on the computer. The boy next to him said yeah and talk to your boyfriend. This comment was said three times. I said so what if he's gay there's nothing wrong with it. He got up and was like I'm not gay ewe. (14) So that is the forth comment of the day. Then the boys went back and forth and one called the other a fruit cup three times (17). Then one said you are beyond gay (18). Then the other said he turns himself into a girl sometimes (19). Then he said back you're gay for even thinking that (20). Then the boy said twice I'm not gay (21-22). Then I don't like that stuff (23). Then one boy said I don't like that stuff (24). I don't like queers (25).
After hearing these comments so much I eventually just told them I'm gay. The one boy said that's okay because you're a girl. If you were a dude that would be a totally different story(26) Then he looked at me and said are you a man? (27) I said no, I'm a woman. I started writing notes down of everything they said and once I started writing things down the one boy who I genuinely do like asked if he could have his name taken off the paper. He asked if it was on it. I didn't give him an answer. I got the classes attention and said something about all the remarks I've been hearing in the class. I told them that I'm going to discuss it more a little later but asked if we needed to then. I told the group of boys who are always a problem that I made a movie about the topic and how men get murdered all the time for being gay. The boys sitting next to that table were impressed. They said you made a movie? I told them it was on netflix. One of them asked if they could see it tomorrow and were excited about it. I think 90% of the class would get something really positive from it if I did discuss fagbug in the class. The one boy said he wouldn't watch it. He also says he won't do a lot of things that are basic things the class asks of him. Then at some point somehow it came up one of the students asked if I was married to a man and I said no I'm married to a woman. I think the boys that heard that were shocked and interested at the same time. The other two boys I took into the hall and tried to talk to them privately. I told them that the language they were using was hurtful, but they really didn't seem to get it. Perhaps if I present fagbug to them I might get their attention in a different way. It's really the only class I see it as a problem where they clearly need some educating on the subject. Perhaps I can present on the topic but also think of a lesson that can go along with the presentation so it can be more than a one day lesson.
Day 5: Slur #10
January 23, 2012 Blog
My cooperating teacher told me she watched my film and found it sad at times.
After I left school Friday, a friend of mine who teaches at Frazer gave me a call. She stopped in to my class when I was doing my first kindergarten lesson and asked me if the principal had talked to me and told me said she'd give me a call later so she did. She was kind of like I dare them to say something to you about your car and I'll fill you in on what I've heard. So from what she's heard, my car is catching people's attention at the school. One of her 2nd grade students saw my car and said to her, "There's a rainbow fagbug outside!" and said how cool it was. She said she didn't explain it to him but found it neat to see how much he liked it. Then a teacher told her he noticed the car and my friend told him to look up the website and see why "she" drives it. He said who is she? She told him I'm student teaching in the art class. She shared the story with him let him know that he should pass it on.
My cooperating teacher told me she watched my film and found it sad at times.
After I left school Friday, a friend of mine who teaches at Frazer gave me a call. She stopped in to my class when I was doing my first kindergarten lesson and asked me if the principal had talked to me and told me said she'd give me a call later so she did. She was kind of like I dare them to say something to you about your car and I'll fill you in on what I've heard. So from what she's heard, my car is catching people's attention at the school. One of her 2nd grade students saw my car and said to her, "There's a rainbow fagbug outside!" and said how cool it was. She said she didn't explain it to him but found it neat to see how much he liked it. Then a teacher told her he noticed the car and my friend told him to look up the website and see why "she" drives it. He said who is she? She told him I'm student teaching in the art class. She shared the story with him let him know that he should pass it on.
The vice principal that thought I was 20 was supposed to be watching the students get on the bus but instead she was upstairs talking to someone about my car saying that it's not appropriate and shouldn't be parked outside the school. My friend was upset about this because she was supposed to be with the kids and no one was out there and she asked why she was missing and was informed that the fagbug was concerning her so she was more concerned with the fagbug then the kids well being.
My friend seemed to know where I park everyday, certain days I was closer than others. In general I'm not parking directly in front of the building but a few cars away. It's a public street so I am not concerned about it. I have a lot to back up my story so I welcome it if they try to ask me to move it.
My cooperating teacher was out sick today so I had a substitute in the class. I was able to do my lesson I had started with the 7th grade class on Friday. They are doing a collage. One of the students wasn't there the first day I met with them so I caught her up. The project consisted of having everyone in groups of two, so since we had an uneven number of people I partnered with her. Since I had some time off since my cooperating teacher wasn't there I took the time I had to work on my collage for Rosie and got that done.
I came up with a lesson to do Art Around The World with the 7th graders when their class is divided Tuesday through Thursdays. I asked them last Thursday what countries they'd like to focus on and they came up with: Yemen, Vietnam, Honolulu (state), Italy, Puerto Rico, and Mexico. I decided to focus on the flags and have them create an international flag. I worked hard on my lesson over the weekend and was able to get my teacher example for the flag lesson done during the day.
The last period, in the 8th grade class, one of the asian students said "Colaroma, I'm Gay." So that was the 10th time the kids in the class have made a remark using gay terms. I asked him what Colaroma means and he said nothing so I just wrote it down. So far all the comments have only come from 2 tables and all have been from boys 100%.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Day 4: My 1st Lessons
January 20, 2012 Blog
Today, I came in and before school began my cooperating teacher asked me if I call Sonya my wife what does she call me, her husband? She asked if that was an inappropriate or dumb question. I said yes kind of but explained to her its no different. We are both women and married to each other.
Today I delivered two lessons, one for 7th grade, another for kindergarten.
The last class of the day seems to be the class that says homophobic slurs on a regular basis. As the students were sitting down I heard one student (male) pick on another by calling him gay. He didn't say he was gay, he made a stab at him insinuating that he was. He said it by saying other words, like accusing him of wanting to be with a guy. Then they went back and forth and said well maybe you really are gay. I was at the next table. Since we discussed how to handle these things last night, my cooperating teacher and I just looked at each other when it was happening and since she was closer she said something to them briefly about being appropriate.
Later the same group said something about being homo or referring to someone as homosexual. Then they brought up fag and a bundle of sticks.
Homophobic Slurs so far = 9
A friend I have in the school came up to see how things were going at some point in the day. I was busy with the kindergarten lesson. She asked me how it was going so far. I told her I was doing a lesson and it went well. She informed me that she's heard a lot of conversations people at the school have been having about my car and wanted to know if the vice principal had said anything to me about it yet. I told her no. She seemed interested in seeing if they were going to, and let me know she'd let me know what she's been hearing later.
I have only parked in the parking lot once. It's just closer to park on the street in front. I don't really park right in the front of the building but a few cars, short walk away. It's interesting to think about all these things. I think my last week or second to last week I may present to the 8th graders about fagbug and share my story with them. I think they'd get a lot from it.
My 7th grade lesson went well. My kindergarten one went well I just have a lot to learn about how to manage a group of kids that age. It doesn't come naturally for me which is why I wanted to try it out first. My cooperating teacher is giving me a lot of tips and constructive feedback. I think I have a lot of room to grow and get better at working with them. She's going to help me next time with the clean-up part of it and then the next kindergarten class we have I can try the lesson out again myself.
I sent the teacher my film and she watched it over the weekend.
Today, I came in and before school began my cooperating teacher asked me if I call Sonya my wife what does she call me, her husband? She asked if that was an inappropriate or dumb question. I said yes kind of but explained to her its no different. We are both women and married to each other.
Today I delivered two lessons, one for 7th grade, another for kindergarten.
The last class of the day seems to be the class that says homophobic slurs on a regular basis. As the students were sitting down I heard one student (male) pick on another by calling him gay. He didn't say he was gay, he made a stab at him insinuating that he was. He said it by saying other words, like accusing him of wanting to be with a guy. Then they went back and forth and said well maybe you really are gay. I was at the next table. Since we discussed how to handle these things last night, my cooperating teacher and I just looked at each other when it was happening and since she was closer she said something to them briefly about being appropriate.
Later the same group said something about being homo or referring to someone as homosexual. Then they brought up fag and a bundle of sticks.
Homophobic Slurs so far = 9
A friend I have in the school came up to see how things were going at some point in the day. I was busy with the kindergarten lesson. She asked me how it was going so far. I told her I was doing a lesson and it went well. She informed me that she's heard a lot of conversations people at the school have been having about my car and wanted to know if the vice principal had said anything to me about it yet. I told her no. She seemed interested in seeing if they were going to, and let me know she'd let me know what she's been hearing later.
I have only parked in the parking lot once. It's just closer to park on the street in front. I don't really park right in the front of the building but a few cars, short walk away. It's interesting to think about all these things. I think my last week or second to last week I may present to the 8th graders about fagbug and share my story with them. I think they'd get a lot from it.
My 7th grade lesson went well. My kindergarten one went well I just have a lot to learn about how to manage a group of kids that age. It doesn't come naturally for me which is why I wanted to try it out first. My cooperating teacher is giving me a lot of tips and constructive feedback. I think I have a lot of room to grow and get better at working with them. She's going to help me next time with the clean-up part of it and then the next kindergarten class we have I can try the lesson out again myself.
I sent the teacher my film and she watched it over the weekend.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Day 3: Art Around the Globe
January 19, 2012 Blog
I've decided that I'm going to keep track of all the homophobic comments that are made in the classes I'm observing in at Frazer. Two were said by my second day. Today is my third day and three more incidences came out, all in the last class of the day. A few of the 8th grade boys were making comments to one another and someone was called a fag. I heard what they were called by what was said afterward, "It also means a bundle of sticks! Or a cigarette. You bundle of sticks." They continued to go around calling each other a bundle of sticks to get around calling one another fags. This is without teacher intervention, just their own sense of humor. I was helping one boy do an optical illusion and he told me about the LMFAO song, "Sexy & I Know It." He told me to check out the video. I let him know my 9-year old niece introduced me to it awhile ago. He said he cried himself to sleep after watching it because he doesn't want to see a guy shake his dick around. Obviously he likes it or wouldn't be bragging about it or roping other people into watching it. The distain boys feel for the idea of being gay or seeing other men express themselves that way is disturbing.
The same boy I'm talking about is somewhat talented in art. He came in the first day with about 15 drawings of male action figures he was proud to show off to the teacher. The kids in the class are working on an optical illusion project. They have some freedom and are engaged in the book my cooperating teacher showed them. It's the first class I've seem dive into a project and spend days working on it. Yesterday the boy who is sick thinking of the LMFAO video had no interest in the project. He told me he didn't like to do anything but draw. I tried to encourage him to go outside of his comfort zone and let him know that although you may not know it, doing things that are uncomfortable for you can make you more versatile and influence the art of what you do like to do and enhance how good you are at it. He blew me off completely. The boy sitting across from him was very engaged everyday so far. He did many large circles, about 75 on a sheet of paper. Enough to make you dizzy.
Yesterday I worked with him and let him know how he could color the intertwining circles to create an illusion. He got really into it and saw it as a challenge as did I. I was impressed by his ability to take it on. So far I don't know many of the kids that well or in depth so I don't expect them to care if I'm engaged or not, but today I felt rewarded by realizing that may not be true. I talked with my cooperating teacher about my lessons for tomorrow. I'm trying out a lesson for kindergarten for the first time and 7th grade. Time ran out during our down time and the last class of the day came in so I tried to get some work done on ideas she gave me in revising my lessons for tomorrow during the last class. Within the first couple minutes the one boy I worked with yesterday said, "Hi Miss." I was working on drawing something and wasn't facing him and turned around to see he was talking to me. I said, "Hello, how are you doing today?" I realized right away he liked working me with so I went over and spent a lot of the class with him. It feels like a team effort, and he promised me he would continue until it was done. We made some major progress. His piece is very complex and took a lot of thought to figure out how to go about doing it.
After he handed in his assignment, a boy brushed up against him on the way out of class. I heard, "Get away from me. I don't do that faggot shit. I'm not going to do that faggot shit. Get off of me. I will kick your ass" (with fists raised).
My cooperating teacher and I went over behind them as all the other students left the room. She made him stay after and asked him what happened. He explained himself and she let him know just because he touched him doesn't mean he has other intentions. I wasn't sure if I should be in their area while they talked or not so I was a few feet away. I did feel we had a connection so I took a moment to say to him, although he was upset, in the future not to use those words to communicate being upset. He agreed.
The number of times I'm hearing homophobic comments in the classroom is really upsetting. If in my classroom at one school I am hearing these things multiple times a day imagine how many times they are said in an entire school, city, state, etc.
I stayed after and talked with my cooperating teacher and another art teacher that comes twice a week about how to handle these comments and how much of my personal life to disclose. We had a lengthy conversation about it. The part-time art teacher said if female teachers can reference a husband, then if I was married I should be able to call my wife my wife. I said I am married and do have a wife. She said that shouldn't be a problem to mention.
I already know that people are afraid to be out because of all the things people will say and do and people are afraid to lose their jobs, etc. I purposely do things to see what happens and document it and enjoy educating others by sharing those stories. I really have nothing to lose. I will use my discretion about how I handle situations once I know the kids and these issues arise. It was left as an open ended conversation to revisit.
Other that that, I am excited to try out my new lessons tomorrow. One is a collage project for kindergarten students based on a book called "My Many Colored Days" by Dr. Seuss, another is a collage based on a color personality test I found online where I will be putting the class together into groups of two, and they will be making art for each other.
For Sage, we have to do a series of 5 lessons as a unit plan for this placement, and I am going to do Cultures Around the Globe for the 7th grade class. I asked them today which cultures they wanted to know about and got a list (Vietnam, Honolulu, Puerto Rico, Yemen, and Italy) to work with. Two students have family in Vietnam, one was raised in Yemen, one speaks spanish and is from Puerto Rico, the teacher is from Italy, and one was born and lived in Honolulu for one year.
Anti-Gay Comments: 6
I've decided that I'm going to keep track of all the homophobic comments that are made in the classes I'm observing in at Frazer. Two were said by my second day. Today is my third day and three more incidences came out, all in the last class of the day. A few of the 8th grade boys were making comments to one another and someone was called a fag. I heard what they were called by what was said afterward, "It also means a bundle of sticks! Or a cigarette. You bundle of sticks." They continued to go around calling each other a bundle of sticks to get around calling one another fags. This is without teacher intervention, just their own sense of humor. I was helping one boy do an optical illusion and he told me about the LMFAO song, "Sexy & I Know It." He told me to check out the video. I let him know my 9-year old niece introduced me to it awhile ago. He said he cried himself to sleep after watching it because he doesn't want to see a guy shake his dick around. Obviously he likes it or wouldn't be bragging about it or roping other people into watching it. The distain boys feel for the idea of being gay or seeing other men express themselves that way is disturbing.
The same boy I'm talking about is somewhat talented in art. He came in the first day with about 15 drawings of male action figures he was proud to show off to the teacher. The kids in the class are working on an optical illusion project. They have some freedom and are engaged in the book my cooperating teacher showed them. It's the first class I've seem dive into a project and spend days working on it. Yesterday the boy who is sick thinking of the LMFAO video had no interest in the project. He told me he didn't like to do anything but draw. I tried to encourage him to go outside of his comfort zone and let him know that although you may not know it, doing things that are uncomfortable for you can make you more versatile and influence the art of what you do like to do and enhance how good you are at it. He blew me off completely. The boy sitting across from him was very engaged everyday so far. He did many large circles, about 75 on a sheet of paper. Enough to make you dizzy.
Yesterday I worked with him and let him know how he could color the intertwining circles to create an illusion. He got really into it and saw it as a challenge as did I. I was impressed by his ability to take it on. So far I don't know many of the kids that well or in depth so I don't expect them to care if I'm engaged or not, but today I felt rewarded by realizing that may not be true. I talked with my cooperating teacher about my lessons for tomorrow. I'm trying out a lesson for kindergarten for the first time and 7th grade. Time ran out during our down time and the last class of the day came in so I tried to get some work done on ideas she gave me in revising my lessons for tomorrow during the last class. Within the first couple minutes the one boy I worked with yesterday said, "Hi Miss." I was working on drawing something and wasn't facing him and turned around to see he was talking to me. I said, "Hello, how are you doing today?" I realized right away he liked working me with so I went over and spent a lot of the class with him. It feels like a team effort, and he promised me he would continue until it was done. We made some major progress. His piece is very complex and took a lot of thought to figure out how to go about doing it.
After he handed in his assignment, a boy brushed up against him on the way out of class. I heard, "Get away from me. I don't do that faggot shit. I'm not going to do that faggot shit. Get off of me. I will kick your ass" (with fists raised).
My cooperating teacher and I went over behind them as all the other students left the room. She made him stay after and asked him what happened. He explained himself and she let him know just because he touched him doesn't mean he has other intentions. I wasn't sure if I should be in their area while they talked or not so I was a few feet away. I did feel we had a connection so I took a moment to say to him, although he was upset, in the future not to use those words to communicate being upset. He agreed.
The number of times I'm hearing homophobic comments in the classroom is really upsetting. If in my classroom at one school I am hearing these things multiple times a day imagine how many times they are said in an entire school, city, state, etc.
I stayed after and talked with my cooperating teacher and another art teacher that comes twice a week about how to handle these comments and how much of my personal life to disclose. We had a lengthy conversation about it. The part-time art teacher said if female teachers can reference a husband, then if I was married I should be able to call my wife my wife. I said I am married and do have a wife. She said that shouldn't be a problem to mention.
I already know that people are afraid to be out because of all the things people will say and do and people are afraid to lose their jobs, etc. I purposely do things to see what happens and document it and enjoy educating others by sharing those stories. I really have nothing to lose. I will use my discretion about how I handle situations once I know the kids and these issues arise. It was left as an open ended conversation to revisit.
Other that that, I am excited to try out my new lessons tomorrow. One is a collage project for kindergarten students based on a book called "My Many Colored Days" by Dr. Seuss, another is a collage based on a color personality test I found online where I will be putting the class together into groups of two, and they will be making art for each other.
For Sage, we have to do a series of 5 lessons as a unit plan for this placement, and I am going to do Cultures Around the Globe for the 7th grade class. I asked them today which cultures they wanted to know about and got a list (Vietnam, Honolulu, Puerto Rico, Yemen, and Italy) to work with. Two students have family in Vietnam, one was raised in Yemen, one speaks spanish and is from Puerto Rico, the teacher is from Italy, and one was born and lived in Honolulu for one year.
Anti-Gay Comments: 6
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Day 2: Racism & Homophobia
I got a chance to explain myself a little further with the vice principal today. My cooperating teacher took me to meet the principal during one of our breaks. The vice principal happened to be in her room when we stopped in. The principal asked where I intended on settling down after I finished my masters and I told her I owned a house in Syracuse and had family here and intended on staying. I think I was able to make it more clear that I don't live with my parents and am on my own. She also asked where I was going to school (as stated in the letter I mailed her a few weeks ago). I told her Sage, and then explained how I took 4 years off to make a documentary and decided to go back and finish this year. I passed the vice principal's office on my way to meet with her and noticed she had a lot of women's basketball posters in her office. We connected on that and I also told her where I went to undergrad after she asked me. She probably thinks I'm 27 now, instead of 18.
There is a student from Yemen in the first class of the day who has been in the United States for a year and two months. Today was his birthday, and no one in the class seemed to care or do anything for him so I had the class sing happy birthday to him. It made him smile! He speaks fairly good English and understands what I'm saying. I had asked him to throw something away and as he went to do it a girl in the class told the other students and I that he doesn't understand what were saying. She said that a few times. You can just tell that because he's from another country some students don't empathize with his situation, and use it as a weakness or part of him to target. I replied to her and told her he understood, and asked her to see how well he did since he was doing exactly what I asked. I'm trying out my first lesson of the placement with their class, and would like to do something focusing on art from his country.
There is a student from Yemen in the first class of the day who has been in the United States for a year and two months. Today was his birthday, and no one in the class seemed to care or do anything for him so I had the class sing happy birthday to him. It made him smile! He speaks fairly good English and understands what I'm saying. I had asked him to throw something away and as he went to do it a girl in the class told the other students and I that he doesn't understand what were saying. She said that a few times. You can just tell that because he's from another country some students don't empathize with his situation, and use it as a weakness or part of him to target. I replied to her and told her he understood, and asked her to see how well he did since he was doing exactly what I asked. I'm trying out my first lesson of the placement with their class, and would like to do something focusing on art from his country.
A boy in a 4th grade class came up to me and told me two other boys called him gay. He seemed upset when he told me so I took him seriously and went over to the two boys and questioned them about it. They laughed and pretty much admitted it. I asked them if they even knew what being gay meant? I also told them the definition of gay meant happy. One boy said he knew what being gay meant and you could tell he thought it was something bad or worthy of insulting his classmate. I asked the other boy who was laughing if he had ever met a gay person. He laughed and said no. I told him I was gay and he looked shocked. The other boy said, "happy" and laughed. I let it be at that and just told them it could hurt people who are gay by using that word to insult someone else and told them not to do it again.
Things like this really upset me. They are hurtful to students who may be gay, as well as hurtful to students who aren't gay but are being attacked through anti-gay words. This use of language so freely creates a divide inside for people who are gay, amongst people who wouldn't lash out against gay people but now have distain for them because others are using language to describe them as an insult. Young children who have no idea what being gay means and have this be their first impression of it, hearing about it through a negative joke, sets the tone that there is something wrong with it and unless someone else is there to properly educate young children, having those thoughts from the age of 5 to 15 without any proper education really is hard to break after thinking that way for over ten years, during the years students are most developing. Many teachers or administrators in elementary schools don't want to discuss sexuality or these types of issues, but I strongly disagree with those ideals when the issues are being raised in such disrespectful ways by the kids. This is why I find it important for gay teachers to be open and comfortable about it. I just got married a few months ago to a woman and although I am completely fine with it, you feel certain restrictions with young kids about not saying things like I'm gay, or my wife. It will be interesting for me to figure out how to navigate through elementary school as a gay person.
The last class of the day is 8th graders. Before the class began one of the students told my cooperating teacher that a boy sitting next to him called his dad a lesbian. I chuckled inside and said to myself that's impossible. My cooperating teacher made it clear to them that insults weren't to be a part of the class and that it's not her job to teach them what's appropriate or not that they should know by now what is. Later she laughed and verbalized my earlier thoughts I had with myself.
Day 1: Introduction
My cooperating teacher introduced me to the vice principal today and the woman asked me what school I was going to. I told her Sage. Then she asked where I, (interrupted herself and changed it to) where do my parents live? She assumed I lived with my parents. I just told her I had a house in the valley, but later wish I said more. My father doesn't even live in New York state. Anyway, I think my response could've been taken two ways, stating that I have a house could mean my parents house or my own. I think she still thought I lived at home with my parents because I didn't say it in a strong enough way to let her know she was wrong about her assumptions (my age, my parents not being divorced which they are and have been since I was one, the state of residence of my parents, or where and who I live with). Later in the day one of the students told another that I looked like I was 18 years old. I'm 33 so this would be flattering if I was older but when people think you are a teenager when you graduated from high school 15 years ago, it doesn't feel like a compliment, especially when the students continue talking about how they just can't believe you are any older than 18.
It's interesting to walk into a situation where new people, young and old, know nothing about you, but assume things like this. People assume so much without asking or taking the time to inquire or get to know or have deep understandings. You see it most in situations that there is no prior information or context like going to the doctor's office, student teaching in a new school, etc.
I'm calling this blog Plenty To Assume because of the double meaning behind it. Plenty of things we all assume about people that are false, and plenty of responsibilities we assume as adults. I'm student teaching in Syracuse while finishing my masters at Sage, which is in Troy, 2.5 hours away. I commuted this fall and past summer to take 3 courses in person, and am now skyping to do the seminar that goes along with the placements and am attempting to take the last course I need online via email with the instructor, have to come to Troy February 21st for a workshop and have to sign up to take a couple online as well as two exams I will sign up for as soon as I have the money and need to order a book for our seminar. It's a lot to assume, but we'll take it one day, one entry at a time.
It's interesting to walk into a situation where new people, young and old, know nothing about you, but assume things like this. People assume so much without asking or taking the time to inquire or get to know or have deep understandings. You see it most in situations that there is no prior information or context like going to the doctor's office, student teaching in a new school, etc.
I'm calling this blog Plenty To Assume because of the double meaning behind it. Plenty of things we all assume about people that are false, and plenty of responsibilities we assume as adults. I'm student teaching in Syracuse while finishing my masters at Sage, which is in Troy, 2.5 hours away. I commuted this fall and past summer to take 3 courses in person, and am now skyping to do the seminar that goes along with the placements and am attempting to take the last course I need online via email with the instructor, have to come to Troy February 21st for a workshop and have to sign up to take a couple online as well as two exams I will sign up for as soon as I have the money and need to order a book for our seminar. It's a lot to assume, but we'll take it one day, one entry at a time.
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